Thailand

My arrival in Bangkok was reverse culture shock. To land at a modern airport after leaving India, to get in a working car and to check into a clean hotel for the first time in two months was a little disconcerting - there is a feeling in the back of my head like, "is this real??"

So, my first day I walked around the city to get my bearings. They have a really good outdoor market on weekends - it is gigantic, and you can get anything there. Like India, Thailand is very cheap (not as cheap as India, but cheap compared to USA). The market is broken down into various areas - I stayed in the 30-something people's area all day and wound up buying a painting.

That night I set out into Bangkok's reputed nightlife; let me tell you all those stories you have heard are true... First I walk by some food stalls on the street - there are fried cockroaches, grasshoppers, and centipedes. Yum Yum?? The vendor fries them in a wok (I am told in Cambodia you can get fried spiders as well). Meanwhile Thai people are trying to tempt you into their houses of ill repute or their bars. There are many shady characters running around these alleyways that Thai people call "Soi"s. To give you an idea of the partying, I thought everyone was celebrating St Patrick's Day (because that's the day it was); no one had ever even heard of it in this part of the world! They were just going par for the course.

I had a partner in crime that first week, Lee (from London), we got drunk and saw the cockroaches, so I said "I'll eat one if you eat one" but then we decided "hell no" we are not going anywhere near them. Lee had a good out - he said the spray they use to keep them fresh after frying them is carcinogenic.

During the day we met at the Buddhist temples, which were completely amazing to see. And they all have monks running around - every Thai male has to be a monk for part of his life - these days some guys do it only for a month, others do it for a year or stay their whole lives.

This is a wild place if you want to be wild. There is something for everyone. I met one guy who said an old man approached him with a card. It had a picture of a scantily clad woman. The man said, "you liiiiiike?" Guy said "no". The man turns the card over to reveal a scantily clad boy. "You liiiiiike?" Guy said "no". So the man says, "What you like, Animals?????" OK, yes, enough of that. Thai culture goes with the flow. It is very non-judgmental, a reflection of the fact that 95% of Thais are Buddhist.

There is a concept called "soo-ay" which means that all things in life should be enjoyed, even work. Thais smile with everything they do, even bargaining or having an argument. And they think anything other than that, like a scowl or raising your voice, is extremely rude and unbecoming. If you have harsh words with someone, anyone who witnesses it will not have anything to do with you, even if you want to buy something from them. This is amazing - you walk into a 7-Eleven in Bangkok, and you feel good when you come out! They smile and treat you nicely!

Hotels in Bangkok are a good deal - for about $6 to $8 a day you can get a clean hotel. I paid $15 a day and had a hotel with an open pool on the roof, a fitness center, and an incredible breakfast buffet every morning!

I went bowling - this bowling alley is on the 7th floor of a shopping mall, and it was the most high tech bowling alley I have ever seen (Thais LOVE bowling). (And, it had VIP alleys!!) You tell a woman your shoe size, and when you walk by this machine it just spits out a pair of shoes for you (they had a problem with my size, though, and someone had to open the machine to get US size 11). There was a DJ spinning, and they served mini-kegs of beer at the lanes. A woman stands behind your lane, and while you are bowling she refills your beer glass! And they serve delicious Thai food while you bowl - one of the Thai guys, Joe, ordered some sautéed ant eggs.

Just remember - you gotta take your shoes off everywhere (even to enter a shop), so plan ahead. Lee had to wash his feet in the bathroom so the other diners wouldn't vomit. Everyone sits on one gigantic bed to eat - and, the amazing thing - there is one, gigantic 90 foot sheet!! I asked what happens if someone at one end spills some wine - it's Thailand, you laugh and forget it!

Someone told me, always laugh when a situation creates a problem. I had a hangover one day at the breakfast buffet in my hotel, so instead of flipping over the coffee cup, I flipped over the sugar bowl and sugar went everywhere. I stared at the hostess, gave a little laugh, then she gave a little laugh, then we both laughed for a few minutes over this situation. One man told me at the airport he was running late; the check-in guy (a Viet Namese guy) said, "HA HA... MISSED!!!!" They laughed, and he got on the next flight. This makes life much more pleasant!

I had a 1 1/2 hour massage for $6. This is available everywhere. Foot massage, Thai massage (very, very deep and painful), or regular oil massages are on every corner.

I met some people whose building was having a pool party over the weekend, so I spent a day meeting people, having food and drinks, and wound up staying in Bangkok four extra days! Lee went south to the Thai beaches, and I went north to Chiang Mai.

It has all the conveniences of Bangkok, but it is less sleazy and the smaller population means people are even more friendly (hard to believe). Someone I met in Bangkok referred me to two people in Chiang Mai - one was a travel agent who helped me with a lot of the inter-city travel in this part of the world, and one owned a place called the "Darling Wine Pub". I went to the wine pub my first night there, and I was introduced to many people, Thai and foreigner alike. I wound up going to this place every night for a drink, and had a lot of fun.

I took 12 hours of Thai cooking class over two days. The first day was standard Thai fare... the teacher saw that I really like spicy food, so she suggested that I learn northern Thai cooking the next day. All I can say is, Whoa. I am starting to eat anything! We started with a pig, I cut up the heart, the intestines, the stomach, everything. Then the teacher points to a bowl of what I think is soy sauce and tells me to put it on the minced pig parts - she then tells me it is not soy sauce it is fresh pig's blood. This was to make our pork salad, which she said Thai's eat raw, but we cooked the pig for me. I learned how to make 16 dishes, probably 1/2 of which we might eat in Ohio!! I am now eating whole fish, eyes and all. When in Rome...!!!

I also took an elephant safari. We hiked into the hills, then rode some elephants. Just before I got on my elephant, someone starts talking about how more people die from elephants every year than from any other domesticated animal. And that a French tourist was killed the week before when an elephant went crazy! We just kept quite so as not to piss off our elephants. We finished that day by rafting down a river on bamboo rafts back toward Chiang Mai.

Thailand is a lot of fun, I would recommend everyone go there. The flight is expensive, but then you can get by on under $25 a day (hotel, food and activities) after that. So it would be an exotic vacation for the total cost, including flight, of a vacation in Florida.